I love fall!

So I didn't really think that I had much to share today but I hadn't written in a few days. But I started a note to myself. Jotting things down that I thought I could share with you. And... kinda ended up longer than I expected.

I want to state for the record -- I LOVE THIS WEATHER!! Fall is my favorite time of year. When the weather starts to cool. It is hard for me to be inside. (In fact, I am sitting outside my house on the brick patio to type this.) College football is underway. Baseball playoffs are gearing up. My birthday is in a week! (Sept. 30th) There is something that is refreshing to me about fall. Even though I've been out for a few years now, maybe I am still programmed into the school year mentality. The new year. Change. In the morning, it is cool but not cold. In the afternoon, it is warm but not hot. I love this weather!

I have a personal trainer. ... Now before you go and get impressed, he is a very good friend of mine. [Pip] My roommates and I (and an honorary roommate - Ben) are meeting a couple of times a week to have Pip kick our butts. As sore as I am today, I am excited about this. My New Years resolution this year was to live a more healthy life. I did really well the first 6 months or so. I trailed off this summer. Well, more like late summer. I think this will be fun. I'm not in this alone. I have friends to push me. I have friends to laugh with along the way. And I look forward to finishing the year with the same determination and hopefulness that I started it with.

I'm going on vacation!! This will be the first time I've left Middle Georgia since December of last year. And it will be my first real vacation in about 3 years. The senior pastor at Christ Chapel is blessing me with his beach house for a weekend to celebrate my birthday. But in reality, he is providing so much more than a house for a weekend. He is giving me a much needed getaway from Macon. He is giving me a family vacation. I've not been shy about how much I love my friends. How I see them as my family. So for possibly the first time ever, I am excited about family vacation. We leave Friday. Daytona here we come!

For those of you that know me well and that have shared life with me the past 2 - 3 months, you know about this little thing we call Monday Night Group. [or Monday Night... or Group... we don't really have a name for this thing] For those of you that don't know -- a few months ago, some friends and I were having dinner at their house. After dinner we congregated in the living room and were just talking and hanging out. Somewhere in the course of conversation, someone made the comment of "oh, I could list you my weaknesses." So, we responded with "go ahead." We all shared what we saw as our laundry list of weaknesses. And then everyone else got to add to or expound as they saw fit. It might sound scary, but it wasn't. It is all done from the perspective of love. Of challenging each other to be the best person we can be.

So this past Monday, a few new faces finally joined us after many invites. And much like the very first night, it was obvious that God had orchestrated each of us to that room at that moment for a reason. It is a beautiful thing when you can challenge, encourage and love friends like that. To see yourself from someone else's eyes is a very valuable thing. To see the good. The bad. The ugly. And to know that you are not alone in your struggles. [One of satan's biggest attacks on us is to tell us that we are alone. We are the only one out there battling that particular fight.]

Pastor John spoke Sunday (morning and evening) on how NOTHING JUST HAPPENS. God is orchestrating everything in our lives to work out His good and perfect plan for each of us. Those two sermons will not quickly be forgotten. They have been resonating through me the past few days. To know that God is placing the dots and connecting them for the bigger picture. But we get so focused on our little dot. Our tiny corner of the universe. We may see things in good and bad. Whole and broken. But God only sees how all the pieces make up the beautiful picture. God uses things like the famine in Bethlehem, the death of a husband, the death of both her sons, and being abandoned by one daughter-in-law to bless Naomi with Ruth. With her kinsman redeemer. With a grandson. (who is a predicessor to Jesus) We don't need to know how God is working, just that He is. And it is for our good.

And that has been a big lesson for me this week. That the bad and broken pieces are for my good. For so long now, I have tried to run from my family. To separate myself. Physically. Emotionally. Spiritually. And when God started blessing me with a new family of friends, I thought that was my cue to completely cut off my parents. Still in contact, but not connected. With the events of last weekend and this week, I am reminded that Nothing Just Happens. There are issues there I need to deal with. I need to forgive when I don't feel like it. I need to love when they don't deserve it. I need to be to Christ in front of them even when they aren't looking for it. But how do I separate enough to keep myself healthy, but still be connected? How do I protect myself and still love them? How do I forgive them when I am justified in my hurts?

Pastor Andy (from Christ Chapel Warner Robins) made a point months ago that still resonates with me. It is the 10/90 idea. We focus on the 10% of our lives that we are frustrated at God in [Areas He is not God in yet, that He is not answering us in, areas that we are struggling] instead of the 90% He is blessing us with. So I am trying to focus on the 90. Remembering that He has blessed me with friends I do not deserve. Blessed me with a house to live in that is not only a refuge for my friends but for me as well. Blessed me with a calling on my life. Blessed me with a car that still runs after all these years. All of my needs are taken care of. So while I wait for Him to answer the questions I still have, I will praise Him for what He has already done and is currently doing in my life. And even if the percentages change and everything starts going bad, I will still praise Him. Because He is worthy. And I am not.